News Flash: Marriage is "Meaningless" if You Aren't a Virgin

Purity Balls, a cross between a debutante coming-out party and a Jesus camp dance, is the new "defend-your-hymen" fad to sweep across the Bible Belt.

Girls as young as 10 don prom dresses, eat white cake, and make vows to their fathers to remain virgins until their wedding days. Dads also make pledges to defend their daughters' chastity.

Independent news sources have been buzzing about these Electra complex ho downs for quite awhile, but ABC News recently picked up the story.

One father described in an ABC report the purpose for such an event: "[In] today's day and age, if the daughters are sexually active before they're married that ceremony really is meaningless because the father's not giving anyone away."

Silly girls, your vagina does not belong to you, it belongs to your father (and then to your husband)!

In an informal poll that asked "Are purity balls an appropriate way for parents to talk to their teens about sex?" on ABC's website, these were the multiple choice answers:

1.No. Instead of being taught abstinence, girls should be taught about birth control and STDs.
2.Yes. Girls should learn to respect themselves by remaining abstinent until they're married. 3.I'm not sure

Way to go, ABC! So if a girl has sex before marriage, she doesn't respect herself? Why didn't ABC qualify the first answer with something like, "...girls should be respected and be taught about birth control and STDs."What the fuck, ABC?

Many dissenters have pointed out that most (I've seen figures that range from 85-95%) of teens who pledge abstinence until marriage break those pledges. Oh yeah, and they become really experienced with anal sex. So basically, by preaching an abstience-only message, these adults deliberately spread ignorance concerning the health of the young people in their own communities.

Proponents claim that their methods help reduce the rate of STD infection, which according the CDC, The Journal of Adolescent Health, and the National Institute of Child Health and Development is---wait for it---totally false!

Hey, I have an idea, why not teach girls and boys that their self-worth is NOT located in their vaginas and penises! That waiting until marriage to have sex doesn't make you more or less "pure" than anyone else.

Why not teach our children that sex is healthy and natural, but there are emotional and bodily risks involved. Why not teach our children that the decision to have sex should be done with care, and that sex should NEVER be used simply to please someone else or to hurt another person.


These Purity Ball hymen-mongers are investing all sorts of super powers in these girls' vaginas, and then telling them that power belongs to someone else. Why are we telling our girls that being "good"and being a sexual being (as all humans are) are mutually exclusive?